[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
The Auteurs :: American Guitars
A Fairy Tale
‘Once upon a time, in the faraway land of Britannia, there were two popular singing groups. The first group was called Suede; they were the more popular of the two singing groups. All the little girls and boys of the Kingdom of Britannia loved Suede and their singer called Brett. He sang songs to them of his life lived in council houses and sniffing glue, and when he sang he swished his floppy hair around and pulled funny faces. All the children laughed and danced and swooned. The other group were called the Auteurs. They were not as popular as the Suede group, although they had better songs. One of these songs was called ‘American Guitars’. Some of the lance corporals of the Kingdom of Britannia thought they had heard in the story of a song an ancient mythical war between Britannia and the old Kingdom of America. In their excitement the lance corporals hadn’t listened to the words of the song properly. Nevertheless, it gave them an idea about a new kind of music for the children of Britannia.
They announced their ambition in Select magazine in April 1993. On the cover of the magazine the singer called Brett pulled one of his faces in front of the stripy flag of Britannia. The lance corporals had written the commandment ‘Yanks Go Home’ in crayon above the popular singer’s funny face. Inside, the less popular group the Auteurs said some things about the Kingdom of Britannia as did some older groups like Saint Etienne and Denim. The lance corporals realised the children of Britannia were never going to love the two older groups so they banished them from the Kingdom. What they really needed were younger groups like Suede and the Auteurs to sing to the children of Britannia.
But over in the old kingdom of America there was an ogre, an ogre that could not be banished, for he was too talented and blessed with the evangelical primal spirit of rock and roll through the ages. All the children of the /whole world/ loved Kurt the ogre, for he was kind and gentle. However, the lance corporals of Britannia knew Kurt was depressed and addicted to heroin, and were 100 percent sure he would take his own life. It would only be after that sad day that the lance corporals could unleash their new music for the children of Britannia: they would call it Britpop.’
Bad Vibes, Luke Haines
‘If it makes you feel any better’, says the Guardian journalist, ‘you only lost by one vote.’ Of course it doesn’t make me feel any better, you fucking moron. Brett Anderson is up on the podium making some idiotic speech about how Suede are pariahs, persecuted by the music industry, and how everyone in the room hates them. What a plank. He’s right on the third count though.
“
| — | Bad Vibes, Luke Haines |
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Lenny Valentino by The Auteurs
This is why the music industry fell flat on it’s arse. Because, in 1993 you could release a single consisting of nothing but three versions of the same song all of which were basically the same length (give or take six seconds) and charge £3.99 for it. I hasten to add that my 14 year old self probably would’ve spent that without a care in the world (such is the power of rock n’ roll on the pure minds of music obsessed teenage boys in small town England). I actually think it’s just a promo version, but hey…
A.M.A.Z.I.N.G song though, right? Still sounds menacing.
Taken from the album Now I’m A Cowboy
